She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
