i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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