In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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