hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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