Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
