Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
