i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
