all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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