I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
