I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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