I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize