also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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