More tranny stories later!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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