Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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