she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
