...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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