I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
