my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
