i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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