so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
