He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
