How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
