She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
