seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
