So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
