ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
