The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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