idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I love having hate sex.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
