In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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