You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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