I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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