Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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