DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
