guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
