GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
