Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
