This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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