Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
