i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sext me about skeletons
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
