I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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