Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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