hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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