Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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