I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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