If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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