We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
