Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
