No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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