She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
