hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
