i think my tv is drunk
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
