Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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