did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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