Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
