Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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