I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
