he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
