You're my little dorito
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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