yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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