I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
