24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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