sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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