i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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