I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
