I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
