Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
